Despite their recent lack of success, Liverpool still remain the team most United fans love to hate. Whilst there's no love lost between the two cities at the best of times, the two football clubs have always been the country's most deadliest, yet successful, rivals. In the 1970's and 1980's, Liverpool were the most successful team whilst a poor United proudly boasted the most fans (even when they played in the Second Division). As United started to improve in the mid-80's, their passage into Europe was only blocked by a UEFA ban - as a result of rioting Liverpool fans in Heysel. The Hillsborough disaster of 1989 calmed things down a little with United fans respected the dead by not singing about them, and in turn, Liverpool fans stopped singing about the Munich Air Disaster. Over recent seasons, the hatred has creeped back in, especially after the FA Cup game at Anfield when Alan Smith broke his leg. It's clear neither team like each other, so much so, that it is rare you don't hear an anti-scouse song being belted out in every United game.

You scouse b*stard!

You scouse b*stard!...

We won it two times,
We won it two ti-i-imes,
Without killing anyone,
We won it two times!

In the Liverpool slums,
They knock on the door when they want something to eat,
They find a dead rat and they think it's a treat,
In the Liverpool slums...

In the Liverpool slums,
Your Mum's on the beat and your Dad's in the nick,
You can't find a job 'coz you're too f*ckin' thick,
In the Liverpool slums...

Build a bonfire, build a bonfire
Put the scousers on the top.
Put the city in the middle
And burn the f*ckin lot...

If you all hate scousers clap your hands [clap, clap, clap]
If you all hate scousers clap your hands [clap, clap, clap]
If you all hate scousers, all hate scousers,
all hate scousers, clap your hands...
[clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap,- continue clappiing for as long as possible, after clapping has stopped, start clapping again louder].

If you want to go to heaven when you die,
You should keep the red flag flying high.
You should wear a red bonnet,
With f*ck the scousers on it.,
If you want to go to heaven when you die.

Oh Merseyside! (Oh Merseyside!),
Is full of sh*t, (is full of sh*t),
Oh Merseyside is full of sh*t.
It's full of sh*t, sh*t, and more sh*t,
Oh Merseyside is full of sh*t...

You're a scouser,
A ugly* scouser,
You're only happy on giro day.
When your dad's out stealing,
Your mum's drug-dealing,
But please don't take my scouser away. (* = 'ugly' also sang as 'thieving' or 'lonely')

The city of culture?
Are you havin' a laugh?
City of Culture? Are you havin' a laugh!?

Feed the scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time...
Feed the scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time...

He's only a poor little scouser,
His face is all tattered and torn,
He made me feel sick,
So I hit him with a brick,
And now he don't sing anymore.

Are you watching?
Are you watching?
Are you watching Merseyside? -
Are you watching Mer-sey-side?

Where's your famous Munich song?
Where's your famous Munich song?
(In the days gone by, songs about the Munich Air Crash ('Who's that dying on the runway...?') were sang tastelessly with responses aimed at Shankly's death ('Who's that dying on the carpet...?') After the Hillsborough Disaster, Liverpool fans stopped singing about Munich, so United fans chanted, 'Where's Your Famous Munich Song?'. Singing about disasters/deaths in the football world have generally stopped now.)

Hark now hear, United sing,
The scousers run away,
And we will fight for evermore,
Because of Boxing Day (Utd lost 3-0 at home to Liverpool on December 26th in 1978)

If I had the wings of a sparrow,
The f*ckin' big a*se of a crow,
I'd fly over Anfield tomorrow,
And sh*t on the b*stards below!

Sign on, sign on, with hope in your heart,
cause you'll never get a job, you'll
never get a job, sign on, sign on, with hope in your heart....

Get to work you lazy tw*ts!,
Get - to - wor-k - you lazy tw*ts!

Have you ever won the treble?
Have you f*ck!
Have you ever won the treble?
Have you f*ck!
Have you ever won the treble?
Ever won the treble?
Ever won the treble? Have you f*ck!

Gary Neville is a red, is a red, is a red,
Gary Neville is a red...
He hates Scousers!

Diego - woo oh oh oh
Diego - woo oh oh oh
He came from Uruguay
He made the Scousers cry!

Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer...

Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Jerzy F*ckin' Dudek! (also sang about Jamie Carragher when putting in two own goals at Anfield!)

Steeeeeve Gerrard, Gerrard,
He kisses the badge on his chest,
Then hands in a transfer request,
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard...!

Don't blame it on Hamann, Don't blame it on Biscan,
Don't blame it on Finnan, Blame it on Traore.
He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet!
(sang after Traore's cock-up at Burnley that lead to Liverpool being knocked out of the FA Cup!)

Sit down Pinocchio, sit down Pinocchio
Sit down Pinocchio, sit down Pinocchio

Get your nostrils off the pitch, get your nostrils off the pitch!

Fuck McManaman, fuck McAteer,
Fuck McManaman, fuck McAteer,
Fuck McManaman, fuck McAteer,
They're f*cking queer! (When Paul Ince joined it became "F*ck McManaman, Ince, McAteer!)

You fat b*stard!

You fat b*stard!...

Oh, Brucie, Brucie,
Brucie, Brucie, Brucie, Brucie,
Gobble shit.

Ian Rush, Ian Rush,
Ian, Ian, Rush,
He gets the ball,
And does f*ck all,
Ian, Ian, Rush.

He's fat,
He's round,
He bounces on the ground,
Sammy Lee, Sammy Lee. (another version - "He's fat, he's bent, his arse is up for rent....")

If you know of any other songs or chants about Liverpool, contact us and we'll update our listings.

Manchester City are the most annoying of United's rivals. Don't believe their hype... Manchester is probably 90% red! In fact, you'll only find large numbers of blues in the suburbs of Stockport, Burnage, Macclesfield, Blackley and Didsbury. Not that any of them ever go to the games - their new ground, just like Maine Road, is often half empty. Those that do go to the game, tend to get on the backs of their team when things aren't going well (which is most games); instead they prefer to boo their team when things aren't going well and instead sing about how much they hate United. In 2006/07 City only scored 10 goals at home in the Premership and to top it all off, they lost their final home game to United, the match where United more or less won the 9th Premership title. City have failed to win anything for over 30 years, which always seems to give United fans a laugh - check out the 'city are a massive' club song, which is arguably the best football song ever written... there's that many things about City to make Reds cry with laughter that the song now boasts over 2,000 verses and as a result doesn't get sang anymore (no one knows which verse to sing next). Below you'll find the best of the songs about the 'Stockports'....

We won the football league again, inside the council house
inside the council house, inside the council house,
We won the football league again, inside the council house
inside the council house...

We paid for their home,
We paid for their home,
What a waste in council tax
We paid for their home.

The council house is never full,
the council house is never full...
unless your playing Man United,
the council house is never full.

This is how it feels to be city
This is how it feels to be small
This is how it feels when your team wins nothing at all
Nothing at all....

My old man, said "be a city fan",
I said "f*ck off, you're a c*nt!",
"I'd rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it,
Than be a city fan for just one minute".

With hatchets and hammers,
Stanley knives and spanners,
We'll show those city b*stards how to fight (how to fight),
"I'd rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it,
Than be a city fan! (all together now)".

U-N-I, T-E-D
United are the team for me,
With a nick nack paddywack, give a dog a bone,
Why don't city f*ck off home.

Lee bummed Bell, Bell bummed Lee,
Lee and Bell bummed Summerbee,
With a nick nack paddywack, give a dog a bone,
Why don't city f*ck off home.

If I die on the Kippax Street
Woo oh, woo oh.
If I die on the Kippax Street
Woo oh, woo oh.
If I die on the Kippax Street
There will be ten blue b*stards at my feet,
Woo oh, woo oh oh oh!

Use your head and use your feet
Woo oh, woo oh.
Use your head and use your feet
Woo oh, woo oh.
Use your head and use your feet
There will be ten blue b*stards at your feet,
Woo oh, woo oh oh oh!

If my bones do not mend
Woo oh, woo oh.
If my bones do not mend
Woo oh, woo oh.
If my bones do not bend
Will you carry me back to the Stretford End,
Woo oh, woo oh oh oh!"

F*ck off back to Stockport!
F*ck off back to Stockport!
la la la la, la la la la....

Build a bonfire, build a bonfire
Put the scousers on the top.
Put the city in the middle
And burn the f*ckin lot...

City -
Manchester City
Nobody knows your name....

City is their name,
City is their name,
31 years and won f*ck all
City is their name. (obviously the number of years they haven't won anything changes each season!)

Are you City?
Are you City?
Are you City in disguise? (sang to poor opposition and City themselves!)

They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League,
They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League.
They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League
Oh city are a massive club!

Other verses include...
They've got the widest pitch, in the land.
They take 15,000 to every away.
They've got 54 players but they're no f*cking good.
They've got Curly Watts as a celebrity fan.
They had the future England captain, but his cruciate went.
They won the Shamrock Trophy in '92.
They've got 3 stars on their new club badge.
They take 30,000 to every away.
They have a civic reception when they've won f*ck all.
They had a continental lazer blue Kappa kit.
They signed Spencer Prior on deadline day.
They've got the tallest corner flags in the world.
They had Ryan Giggs on schoolboy forms.
They take 60,000 to every away.
They've got a dirty old slapper with a rusty bell.
They empty Stockport when they play at home.
They've got the biggest bananas in the land.
They had a derby match with Macclesfield.
Their best ever player played for Ajax reserves.
They took quarter of a million to Ewood Park.
They tried to sign Geoff Thomas and he turned 'em down.
They've got salt and pepper on their hot dog stands.
They've got the greenest grass in the whole of the world.
They had a chairman and a manager that wore a wig.
They've got the Gallagher brothers in the Govenors.
They've got three million fans in Manchester.
They're the only team to come from Manchester.
They bought Steve Daly for a million quid.
They signed George Weah but he thought they played in red.
They had Colin Bell who was better than Best.
They sing racist chants cos they've got no class.
At last count, there was over 2,000 verses...

City's going up but they're going straight back down,
Going straight back down, going straight back down.
City's going up but they're going straight back down,
Going straight back down, going straight back down...
They're going up! but straight back down!
They're going u-uuup, but straight back down,
They're going up! but straight back down!
They're going u-uuup, but straight back down.... (repeat but louder and clapping)

City's going down with a Russian on the wing,
A Russian on the wing, a Russian on the wing,
City's going down with a Russian on the wing,
A Russian on the wing, a Russian on the wing...
(Originally the line was, "City's going down like a Russian Submarine'". The line being produced after a Russian submarine sank in August 2000. United fans soon decided to change it due to it's bad taste, and fittingly with Andrei Kanchelskis moving to City just afterwards in 2001 on a loan spell from Rangers, the United supporters had the perfect replacement for the lyrics of this song.)

Cheer up Kevin Keegan
Oh, what can it mean...
To a... Sad Geordie b*stard and a...
Sh*te football team....

Kevin Keegan,
Can he fix it?
Kevin Keegan,
Can he fuck!?

One-two,
One,two, three,
One,two,three,four,
FIVE-NIL !

Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City, City,
Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City is our name.
City is our name,
City is our name,
Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City is our name.

Blue Moon, you started singing too soon,
You thought you'd beat us three - one,
And now Howard Kendall has gone.

We're the pride,
We're the pride,
We're the pride of manchester!
We're the pride of man-chest-errr.

Stockports, Stockports, what's the score?

Stockports, Stockports, give us a song.

Let's all laugh at city
ha ha ha ha

We f*ckin' hate city,
We f*ckin' hate city,
We f*ckin' hate...
We f*ckin' hate city!

If you know of any other songs or chants about Manchester City, contact us and we'll update our listings.

United and Chelsea fans have never got on. From the hooligan days of the 60's and 70's, the 80's skin-heads and the likes of Dennis Wise pissing the United fans off in the 1990's, it is fair to say, there is a clear North and South divide between the two clubs. The rivalry has moved up a level now that Abramovich and his millions have made Chelsea into a title winning side. United have been taken over as the team everyone loves to hate as Chelsea are the team to beat. Players like Drogba, Robben, Lampard and Terry maybe talented but they hated. With Mourinho smuggly leading his team to victory with fairly conservative football, United continue playing the attractive football and impressing the pundits. The hatred between the two sets of supporters isn't there like it is with United and Liverpool, but no love is lost when the two top teams meet.

Where's the special one?
Where's the special one...
Where's the special one?
Where's the special one...

Mourinho you were listening,
You'd kept our trophy glistening,
Coz we won it back and you got the sack
Walking in a Fergie Wonderland!

Mourinho are you listening,
You'd better keep our trophy glistening,
Coz we'll be back in May to take it away,
Walking in a Fergie Wonderland!

Sign On Mourinho
Sign On Mourinho,
Sign On Mourinho
Sign On Mourinho!

Chin Up Mourinho
Chin Up Mourinho,
Chin Up Mourinho
Chin Up Mourinho! (also sang as 'Cheer Up Mourinho')

Sit down Mourinho
Sit down Mourinho,
Sit down Mourinho
Sit down Mourinho!

F*ck Off Mourinho
F*ck Off Mourinho,
F*ck Off Mourinho
F*ck Off Mourinho!

(chant)
Chelsea rent boys!
Chelsea rent boys!
Hello! Hello...

(sang at Old Trafford during the 2-0 win on Sunday 23rd September 2007, with reference to Chelsea's poor Champions League attendance at home to Rosenborg (29,973 - worst in 4 years) in what turned out to be Mourinho's last game)
Where were you on Tuesday night?
Where were you on Tuesday night?

(more ribbing from the United fans....)
Shall we fill a ground for you?
Shall we fill a ground for you?

(and even more piss-taking!)
Stamford Bridge, is never full,
Oh Stamford Bridge is never full,
unless your playing, Man United,
Oh Stamford Bridge is never full

(chant)
Where were you when you were shit?
Where were you,
when you were shit?

Peter Kenyon,
You're A W*nker, you're a w*nker,
Peter Kenyon... (feel free to replace the name Peter Kenyon with Ashley Cole!)

If you know of any other songs or chants about Chelsea, contact us and we'll update our listings.

Depending on how close United and Arsenal are in the league has determined the rivalry between United and Arsenal. The focus has shifted from Wenger and his men to Chelsea in more recent years. Obviously, when Arsenal pipped United to the Premiership a number of times, the two sets of fans didn't get on. Things have got spicy due to the mad moments on and off the pitch with a number of famous clashes over the years like the Old Trafford brawl in October 1990, the after match battle between most of the Arsenal team and Van Nistelrooy, and the amusing verbals at Highbury between Keane and Vieria. The two teams met in the 2005 FA Cup Final where United outplayed the Gunners but got robbed on penalties, a game United fans will always want payback for. It is still regarded as one of the biggest games in the fixture calendar when the clubs meet, but generally, the two teams don't have the strongest of rivalries.

One Arsene Wenger -
There's only one Arsene Wenger,
With a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile,
Wenger is a f*ckin' paedophile. (still sang but rather tasteless and uncalled for whatever we think of him)

Sit down you paedophile
Sit down you paedophile,
Sit down you paedophile
Sit down you paedophile!

Viera - oh, oh, oh, oh-
Viera - oh, oh, oh, oh-
He gave Giggsy the ball
And Arsenal won f*ck all...

Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Half of f*cking Europe! (this song is a bit dated now but basically mocked Arsenal's European efforts!)

Bertie Mee said to Matt Busby
"Have you heard of the North Bank Highbury?"
"No", said Matt,
"You cockney tw*t,
But I've heard of the Stretford - Enders!"

You only sing our songs,
You only sing our songs,
You only sing our songs!
Our songs!
You only sing our songs!..

If you know of any other songs or chants about Arsenal, contact us and we'll update our listings.

Out of all the rivalries, perhaps the one with Leeds United is probably the most violent. Leeds fans have always had a reputation for fighting and its no surprise that they treat matches with United as a derby match. Perhaps it's because there's so many reds living in Yorkshire, or the fact they don't have a more credible local rival that makes them so hostile to United. Whatever the reason, their singing of sick Munich songs and lack of respect during the minute silence following Sir Matt Busby's death, ensures the Yorkshire-Lancashire rivalry is a two way thing. Even though Leeds no longer play United as they are now two leagues from the Reds, as they currently scrap away in Division 1, you will still hear anti-leeds songs being sang at Old Trafford. Below you'll find the best of the songs about the 'Leeds scum'....

We all hate Leeds (Scum!)
We all hate Leeds (Scum!)
We a-ll hate Leeds (Scum!)
We all hate Leeds! (Scum!)

Oh Brian Kidd (oh Brian Kidd),
Is still a Manc, (is still a Manc).
Oh Brian Kidd is still a Manc,
He f*cked up Leeds United,
Oh Brian Kidd is still a Manc.

Leeds are goin' down and they're goin' f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust.
Leeds are goin' down and they're goin' f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust.

They're goin' bust,
They're goin' bust,
They're goin' bu-huh-ust,
They're going bust.
Leeds are goin' down and they're goin' f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust...

L