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In The Liverpool Slums
Manchester United songs aimed at Liverpool
Despite Manchester city's best attempts to be taken seriously, Liverpool remain enemy number 1 for most United fans. Therefore it's no surprise the anti-Liverpool songbook is almost as long as the East Lancs Road, which separates the two cities...
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Anti-Liverpool songs sang by United fans
Despite their recent lack of success, Liverpool still remain the team most United fans love to hate. Whilst there's no love lost between the two cities at the best of times, a history dating back to when Manchester built the Ship Canal to avoid paying taxes to Liverpool, the two football clubs have always been the country's most deadliest, yet successful, rivals.
In the 1970's and 1980's, Liverpool were the most successful team whilst a poor United side proudly boasted the most fans and highest attendances (even when they played in the Second Division). As United started to improve in the mid-80's, their passage into Europe was only blocked by a UEFA ban - imposed to all English clubs as a result of rioting Liverpool fans in Heysel.
The Hillsborough disaster of 1989 calmed things down a little with United fans respecting the dead by not singing about them, and in turn, Liverpool fans stopped singing their many songs about the Munich Air Disaster.
Over recent seasons, the hatred has intensifed, especially after the FA Cup game at Anfield when Alan Smith broke his leg and both fans and players were attacked on leaving the stadium. With United only one league title away from matching Liverpool's 18, the rivalry will continue to get stronger no doubt.
"My greatest challenge was knocking Liverpool right off their f*cking perch. And you can print that!" - Sir Alex Ferguson
 
 
 
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 Red & Raw - A Post War History of Manchester United v Liverpool 
 
 
 Scousebusters DVD 
 
 
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 We Won It Three Tmes T-shirt 
 
 
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 Scousespotting t-shirt 
 
 
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 YSB T-shirt 
 
 
 I'd Rather Walk Alone T-shirt 
 
 
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 Kill All Dippers T-shirt 
 
 
 Kill All Dippers T-shirt 
 
 
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 Manchester Moscow Tokyo T-shirt 
 
 
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 Liverpool hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 Scousebusting 85 tshirt 
 
 
 Buy the superb book It Happened In Manchester 1958-1965 
 
 
 Manchester T-shirt 
 
 
 Manchester Utd v Liverpool 1977 DVD 
 
 
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 Northern Soul t-shirt 
 
 
 Manchester Utd v Liverpool 1977 DVD 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 
Manchester Utd The European Finals DVD
 
 
 
 
Cantona - The Complete Collection on DVD
 
 
 
 Liverpool hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 Mad For It 
 
 
 The Men In Black 
 
 
 Red Army General 
 
 
 The Boys From The Mersey 
 
 
 The Boys From The Mersey 
 
 
 What Manchester Does Today The World Does Tomorrow t-shirt 
 
 
 Pies & Prejudice 
 
 
 
You Scouse B*stardYSB (chant)
You scouse b*stard!
You scouse b*stard!
[buy the YSB t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
Build A BonfireBuild A Bonfire
(to the tune of 'Oh My Darling Clementine')
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire,
Put the scousers on the top.
Put the city in the middle
And burn the f*ckin lot...
[buy the Build A Bonfire t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
He's Crackin' UpHe's Crackin' Up
(to the tune of 'Football's Coming Home'')
He's crackin' up,
He's crackin' up,
He's crackin'...
Rafa's crackin' up
First sang after Rafa Benitez's amazing 'Fact' press conference, which was shortly followed by a run of 4 games without a win for Liverpool and an FA Cup exit
 
 
 
 
Top of the leagueTop Of The League... And That's A Fact!
Top of the league,
And that's a fact!
Top of the league,
And that's a fact!
 
 
 
 
Fat Spanish WaiterFat Spanish Waiter
Fat Spanish waiter,
He's just a fat Spanish waiter,
Fat Spanish waiter...
He's just a fat Spanish waiter
 
 
 
 
Are You Watching Merseyside?Are You Watching Merseyside?
(to the tune of 'Oh Suzannah')
Are you watching?
Are you watching?
Are you watching Merseyside? -
Are you watching Mer-sey-side?
 
 
 
 
MurderersMurderers (chant)
Mur-derers!
Mur-der-rers!
First heard in response to the 'Liv-er-pool' song after the near-fatal attack on a Bulgarian barman after Liverpool's Champions League Final in Istanbul 2005 (and Heysel 20 years earlier).
 
 
 
 
We Won It Three TimesWe Won It Three Times
We won it three times,
We won it three ti-i-imes,
Without killing anyone,
We won it three times
[buy the We Won It Three Times t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
He's half a boy and half a girlHe's Half A Boy and Half A Girl
(to tune of 'When Johnny Goes Marching Down The Wing')
He's half a boy and half a girl,
Torres! Torres!
He looks just like a transvestite,
Torres! Torres!
He wears a frock,
He loves the cock,
He sells his arse on Albert Dock
Fernando Torres, Carragher's bit on the side
Whilst Scousers are famed for stealing many things, it came as a shock that they would choose to honour their new Spanish forward with one of United's favourite tunes. Such adaptations are common place with Arsenal fans but Liverpool are normally more original. Perhaps they couldn't get the tune out of their heads after John O'Shea marched down the wing to score United's last minute winner in front of the Kop in 2007. United fans responded with this adaptation although most die- hard reds prefer to still sing the original 'Johnny Goes Marching Down The Wing'.
 
 
 
 
In the Liverpool SlumsIn The Liverpool Slums
In the Liverpool slums,
They knock on the door when they want something to eat,
They find a dead rat and they think it's a treat,
In the Liverpool slums.
 
In the Liverpool slums,
Your Mum's on the beat and your Dad's in the nick,
You can't find a job 'coz you're too f*ckin' thick,
In the Liverpool slums.
 
 
 
 
If All You All Hate ScousersIf You All Hate Scousers
(to the tune of 'If You're Happy and You Know It')
If you all hate scousers clap your hands [clap, clap, clap]
If you all hate scousers clap your hands [clap, clap, clap]
If you all hate scousers, all hate scousers,
all hate scousers, clap your hands...
[clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap]
[continue clappiing for as long as possible, after clapping has stopped, start clapping again louder].
 
 
 
 
Oh Merseyside Is Full of Sh*tMerseyside Is Full of Sh*t
(to the tune of 'When The Saints Go Marching In')
Oh Merseyside!
(Oh Merseyside!),
Is full of sh*t,
(is full of sh*t),
Oh Merseyside is full of sh*t.
It's full of sh*t, sh*t, and more sh*t,
Oh Merseyside is full of sh*t...
 
 
 
 
Gary NevilleGary Neville Is A Red (He Hates Scousers!)
(to the tune of 'London Bridge Is Falling Down')
Gary Neville is a red... is a red... is a red,
Gary Neville is a red...
He hates Scousers!
 
 
 
 
If You Wanna Go To Heaven When You DieIf You Wanna Go To Heaven When You Die
If you want to go to heaven when you die,
You should keep the red flag flying high.
You should wear a red bonnet,
With 'F*ck the scousers' on it.
If you want to go to heaven when you die
 
 
 
 
Feed The ScousersFeed The Scousers
(to the tune of 'Do They Know It's Christmas?')
Feed the scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time...
Feed the scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time
 
 
 
 
Feed The ScousersSh*t On The Scousers
Sh*t on the scousers,
Sh*t on the scousers tonight.
Sh*t on the scousers,
Sh*t on the scousers tonight,
 
 
 
 
You'll Never Get A JobYou'll Never Get A Job
(to the tune of 'You'll Never Walk Alone')
Sign on, sign on, with no hope in your heart,
'cause you'll never get a job
You'll never get a job!
Sign on, sign on, with no hope in your heart.
[buy the I'd Rather Walk Alone t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
Get To Work You Lazy TwatGet To Work You Lazy Tw*ts!
Get to work you lazy tw*ts!
Get... to wor-k... you lazy tw*ts!
 
 
 
 
Kiss The Badge On His ChestSteve Gerrard, Gerrard
(to the tune of 'Que Sera Sera')
Steeeeeve Gerrard, Gerrard
He kisses the badge on his chest
Then hands in a transfer request
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard
First sang after Steven Gerrard put in a transfer request in 2005, following Liverpool's Champions League Final victory.
 
 
 
 
Have You Ever Won The Treble?Have You Ever Won The Treble?
(to the tune of 'She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain')
Have you ever won the treble?
Have you f*ck!
Have you ever won the treble?
Have you f*ck!
Have you ever won the treble?
Ever won the treble?
Ever won the treble? Have you f*ck!
 
 
 
 
You Are A ScouserYou Are A Scouser
(to the tune of 'You Are My Sunshine')
You are a scouser,
An ugly* scouser,
You're only happy, on giro day.
When your dad's out stealing,
Your mum's drug-dealing,
But please don't take.. my hubcaps... away
[*= the word 'ugly' often replaced with 'thieving' or 'lonely')
 
 
 
 
Scousers Rob Your CarUnited! United! Rah! Rah! Rah!
United! United! rah! rah! rah!
City! City! Hah! Hah! Hah!
Leeds! Leeds! Baa! Baa! Baa!
Norwich! Norwich! Far! Far! Far!
Scousers! Scousers! Rob your car!
 
 
 
 
A Scouser CanA Scouser Can
(to the tune of 'The Candyman Can')
Who can rob your houses?
(Who can rob your houses?)
Violate your gran?
(Violate your gran?)
Sell cocaine from an ice cream van?
A scouser can!
 
 
 
 
He's Only A Poor Little ScouserHe's Only A Poor Little Scouser
He's only a poor little scouser,
His face is all tattered and torn.
He made me feel sick,
So I hit him with a brick,
And now he don't sing anymore
 
 
 
 
If I Had The Wings Of A SparrowIf I Had The Wings Of A Sparrow
If I had the wings of a sparrow,
The f*ckin' big arse of a crow,
I'd fly over Anfield tomorrow,
And sh*t on the b*stards below
 
 
 
 
Where's Your Famous Munich Song?Where's Your Famous Munich Song?
Where's your famous Munich song?
Where's your famous... Mu-nich song?
 
Before 1989, Liverpool fans sang many songs about the Munich Air Crash ('Who's that dying on the runway...?' being the most famous). United fans responsed by adapting the song about Bill Shankly's death ('Who's that dying on the carpet...?'). After the Hillsborough Disaster, Liverpool fans stopped singing about Munich, so United fans questioned, 'Where's Your Famous Munich Song?'.
 
 
 
 
City of Culture - Are You Having A Laugh?Ring Of Fire
(to the tune of 'Ring Of Fire')
Michael Shields got 10 more years
(der der der der der der der der)
Now he's getting bummed by queers
(der der der der der der der der)
10 more years without parole
(der der der der der der der der)
Now he's got a sore arsehole
Whilst many reds who travel to European away games (Galatasary in 1993 especially) can empathise with Michael Shields case, this song remains popular. Looking into the Michael Shields case, it's clear to see an innocent man may have been found guilty for a crime he did not commit, especially after fellow scouser Graham Sankey later confessed to the brutal attack that almost killed a Bulgarian bar tender. You have to question however why there has not been a more high profile campaign to convict the actual person responsible. Sankey was later imprisoned for a racist attack on a Liverpool doorman.
 
 
 
 
City of Culture - Are You Having A Laugh?City Of Culture? You're Havin' A Laugh!
The city of culture?
Are you havin' a laugh?
City of Culture? Are you havin' a laugh?
Sang when Liverpool (along with Stavanger in Norway) was made European Capital of Culture in 2008
 
 
 
 
Buy the Ole Gunnar Solskjaer t-shirtWho Put The Ball in the Scousers' Net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer!
First sang after Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's injury time winner against Liverpool in the FA Cup 4th Round in 1999.
[buy the 20 LEgend t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
Sammy Lee ChantSammy Lee chant
He's fat,
He's round,
He bounces on the ground,
Sammy Lee, Sammy Lee!
 
He's fat,
He's bent,
His arse is up for rent,
Sammy Lee, Sammy Lee!
Sang at Liverpool's fat midfielder (1976-1986) and Assistant Manager (since 2008)
 
 
 
 
DiegoHe Made The Scousers Cry!
Diego!
Woo oh, oh, oh!
Diego!
Woo oh, oh, oh!
He came from Uruguay
He made the Scousers cry!
First sang after Diego Forlan scored both goals in United's 2-1 victory over Liverpool at Anfield in 2002.
 
 
 
 
Blame it on TraoreBlame it on Traore
(to the tune of 'Blame It On The Boogie')
Don't blame it on Hamann,
Don't blame it on Biscan,
Don't blame it on Finnan,
Blame it on Traore!
He just can't... he just can't...
He just can't control his feet!
First sang after Jimmy Traore's comical own goal at Burnley that knocked Liverpool out of the FA Cup in 2007
 
 
 
 
Phil Thompson chantsYou're Not Famous Anymore
You're not famous anymore,
You-'re not fam-ous any...more!
Sang since Liverpool's last Championship title in 1990
 
 
 
 
Phil Thompson chantsPhil Thompson chants
Sit down Pinocchio! Sit down Pinocchio!
Sit down Pinocchio! Sit down Pinocchio!
- o -
Get your nostrils off the pitch!
Get your nos-trils off the pitch!
Often sang towards Liverpool's big-nosed assistant manager between 1998-2004.
 
 
 
 
Jerzy DudekWho Put The Ball in the Scousers' Net? (alt. version)
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Jerzy F*ckin' Dudek!
First sang after Jerzy Dudek's howler gifted Diego Forlan in United's 2-1 victory over Liverpool at Anfield in 2002. A mistake which virtually cost him his Liverpool career.
 
 
 
 
Jamie CarragherWho Put The Ball in the Scousers' Net? (alt. version)
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Jamie, Jamie Carragher!
First sang after Jamie Carragher's two own goals in United 3-2 victory over Liverpool at Anfield in 1999
 
 
 
 
F*ck McManaman chantF*ck McManaman, F*ck McAteer
(to the tune of the 'Macarena')
F*ck McManaman, F*ck McAteer
F*ck McManaman, F*ck McAteer
F*ck McManaman, F*ck McAteer
They're f*cking queer!
The song was later changed to 'F*ck McManaman, Ince, McAteer' when Paul Ince joined Liverpool in 1997
 
 
 
 
Big Time CharliePaul Ince chants
You used to play for a big club!
Play for a bi-g club!
You used to play for a big club!
- o -
Charlie! What's the score?
Charlie! Charlie! What's the score?
These songs were directed at former United player Paul Ince when he signed for Liverpool in 1997. Alex Ferguson had described Ince as being a 'f*cking big-time Charlie' after he had left United for Inter Milan two years previous.
 
 
 
 
Jan Molby chantJan Molby chant
You fat b*stard!
You fat b*stard!
Sang at the fat Dane with a Scouse accent between 1984-96
 
 
 
 
Bruce Grobbelaar ChantBruce Grobbelaar chant
Oh, Brucie, Brucie,
Brucie, Brucie, Brucie, Brucie,
Grobble shit
Sang at the accused match-fixing goalkeeper 1980-94
 
 
 
 
Ian Rush chantIan Rush chant
Ian Rush, Ian Rush,
Ian, Ian Rush,
He gets the ball
And does f*ck all
Ian, Ian Rush,
Sang at Liverpool's prolific striker who amazingly only scored once against United between 1980-1996. Whilst his goal may have prevented United from winning the title, his last ever touch for Liverpool set up Cantona's FA Cup winning goal in 1996
 
 
 
 
The Scousers Ran AwayHark Now Hear
(to the tune of 'Mary's Boy Child')
Hark now hear, United sing,
The scousers run away,
And we will fight for evermore,
Because of Boxing Day!
This song was first sang after United lost 3-0 at home to Liverpool on Dec 26th, 1978.
 
 
 
 
You'll Never Walk AgainYou'll Never Walk Again
(to the tune of 'You'll Never Walk Alone')
You'll Never Walk Again
F*ck off, f*ck off...
With a hole in your arse
And You'll Never Walk Again
You'll Never Walk Again
This song was famously sang after the 1977 FA Cup Final victory over Liverpool
[buy the 1977 FA Cup Winners line up t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
Pies and Prejudice - Manchester v Liverpool
"The rivalry between Liverpool and Manchester is not like the rivalry between, say, Edinburgh and Glasgow, based on a philosophic and cultural gap between two proud cities whose very difference and diversity is somehow useful and fruitful. It doesn't actually make sense to think of what goes down between the Scousers and the Mancs as a rivalry at all; it's a vendetta, a blood feud that's Sicilian in intensity, contemptuous at best, raw, visceral hatred at worst, each always out for vengeance and reparation like the Hatfields and McCoys or the Campbells and MacGregors. No player has been transferred between the two teams since Phil Chisnall moved from United to Liverpool in 1964. Also, the malice and ill-will borne by fans of Liverpool and Manchester United's football teams outweighs by far that felt by either team for their traditional rivals across the city, Everton or Man City."
~ Stuart Maconie examines the history of the Manchester v Liverpool rivalry in his amazing book 'Pies and Prejudice - In Search of the North' [click here]
 
 
 
 
Know anymore Manchester United songs aimed at Liverpool?
If you know of any other Manchester United songs and chants directed at Liverpool, CLICK HERE to let us know.
Please note, as we receive so many awful new songs that will never take off with the fans, we will only publish songs already heard at the games.
We will not publish songs about Heysel or Hillsborough or other tasteless chants.
 
 
  
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