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This Is How It Feels to be city
Manchester United songs aimed at Manchester city
Manchester city (note the small 'c') are the most annoying of United's rivals. Their fans insist that Manchester is blue and United are from Salford and not Manchester. Despite their insistence on calling United fans 'Munichs' (ignoring the fact one of their own legends died in the crash), they largely remain just a comical thorn in most United fans' sides.
 
 
 
 
 
 
   
 
 
 
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Anti-Man city songs sang by United fans
If Manchester city fans are to be believed, Manchester is mainly made up of blues and all United fans (or 'Munichs' as they label them), come from Singapore or London. Whatsmore, United are from Salford, and they are Manchester's only club!
In truth, Manchester is very much a red city. city fans tend to come from the suburbs, especially those areas with an SK postcode (hence United's nickname for them as 'Stockports') and both stadiums are the same distance (2 miles) to Manchester Town Hall.
Not that 'bitter blues' (so called because of their hatred for United often being greater than their love for their own club) ever go to the games - their new ground, Eastlands, just like Maine Road, rarely sells out and attendances dropped as low as 17,200 in the 2008-09 season!
In fairness, city fans are more dedicated than most fans of equally poor teams but like 1860 Munich, Espanyol and Torino in their respective cities, It's the never-ending list of misconceptions that city fans spin (and probably believe), that makes them such an irritant and laughing stock amongst United fans.
"There's plenty of talk from them but I disregard it really because it is all talk!" - Sir Alex Ferguson on Manchester city's billions
 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 Manchester - A Football History 
 
 
 Denis Law - The Autobiography 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 Manchester Is Red T-shirt 
 
 
 Manchester Is Red T-Shirt 
 
 
 Budget hotels in Manchester 
 
 
 Manchester United ruined my life 
 
 
 YSB T-shirt 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 United T-shirts 
 
 
 Manchester's Finest 
 
 
 Wembley hotels 
 
 
 The Pride Of Manchester book 
 
 
 Kill All Dippers T-shirt 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 Manchester Moscow Tokyo T-shirt 
 
 
 Manchester Hacienda T-shirt 
 
 
 Manchester restaurant offers 
 
 
 This Is How It Feels tshirt 
 
 
 Buy the superb book It Happened In Manchester 1958-1965 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 Wembley hotels 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 
Manchester Utd The European Finals DVD
 
 
 
 
Cantona - The Complete Collection on DVD
 
 
 
 Manchester Bars 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Old Trafford hotels, restaurants and bars 
 
 
 Mad For It 
 
 
 The Men In Black 
 
 
 Red Army General 
 
 
 Sully 
 
 
 The Boys From The Mersey 
 
 
 The Inside Story of the Manchester Gangs 
 
 
 Manchester T-shirt 
 
 
 
Carlos Tevez Who's That Tw*t From Argentina?
Who's that twat from Argentina?
Who's that money grabbing whore?
Carlos Tevez is his name
And he hasn't got a brain
And he won't be winning trophies anymore
Adapted from the song United fans used to sing when Carlos Tevez played for United, following his switch to Eastlands. Alongside Paul Ince, this is the only time United fans have turned on an ex-player.
 
 
 
 
This Is How It Feels Istanbul - They're Not Going
Istanbul, Istanbul
They're not going
Istanbul, Istanbul
They lied.
Istanbul, Istanbul
They're not going
They're not going cos they're f*ckn sh*te!
Adapted from Manchester city's 'Istanbul We Are Coming At The End of May' song following the blues exit to Hamburg in the UEFA Cup in April 2009, normally followed by 'Que Sera Sera, We're going to Italy'
 
 
 
 
This Is How It Feels This Is How It Feels To Be city
(to the tune of 'This It How It Feels' by The Inspiral Carpets)
This is how it feels to be city,
This is how it feels to be small,
This is how it feels when your team wins nothing at all...
Nothing at all
[buy the This Is How It Feels To Be city t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
Build A BonfireBuild A Bonfire
(to the tune of 'Oh My Darling Clementine')
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire,
Put the scousers on the top.
Put the city in the middle
And burn the f*ckin lot...
[buy the Build A Bonfire t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
UNI-TEDU-N-I-T-E-D
(to the tune of 'Nick Nack Paddywack')
U-N-I, T-E-D
United are the team for me,
With a nick nack paddywack, give a dog a bone,
Why don't city f*ck off home.
 
 
 
 
We Paid For Their HomeWe Paid For Their Home 
We paid for their home,
We paid for their home,
What a waste of council tax
We paid for their home!
 
They don't even go,
They don't even go,
What a waste of council tax
They don't even go!
Sang about the City of Manchester Stadium, built for the Commonwealth Games with £33 million of tax payer's money. In some bizaare business deal, Manchester city lease the stadium cheaply from the council. Following their takeover by Arab billionaire Dr Sulaiman Al Fahim and the announcement that the stadium is now to be used solely for football purposes, this deal seems more dodgy than ever.
 
 
 
 
The Council House Is Never FullThe Council House, Is Never Full 
(to the tune of 'Oh Suzannah')
The council house
(The council house)
Is never full
(is never full)
The council house is never full
Unless they're playing Man U-ni-ted
The council house is never full
Manchester city's average attendances for competitive games at Eastlands:
(Capacity = 47,726 of which approx 3,000 - 4,500 given to away fans)
2009-10 = 40,524 (upto 29/10/09)  
2008-09 = 38,219 2005-06 = 41,097
2007-08 = 40,311 2004-05 = 42,854
2006-07 = 38,670 2003-04 = 43,756
 
 
 
 
We Won It Two TimesMy Old Man Said By A City Fan
(to the tune of 'Don't Dilly Dally On The Way')
My old man, said "be a city fan",
I said "f*ck off, you're a c*nt!",
"I'd rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it,
Than be a city fan for just one minute".
 
With hatchets and hammers,
Stanley knives and spanners,
We'll show those city b*stards how to fight,
(how to fight)
"I'd rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it,
Than be a city fan!".
(all together now)..
[buy the Hatchets & Hammers t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
32 Years and Won Fuck All32 Years
In '76,
This is true,
A Trophy was won by a team in blue.
It's been a long time, since that date
So we'll sing a song
That they f*ckn hate...
 
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
 
We all hate Leeds scum
We all hate Leeds scum
We all hate Leeds scum
We all hate Leeds scum.
We all hate Leeds scum
We all hate Leeds scum
We all hate Leeds scum
We all hate Leeds scum
 
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
32 years
(F*ck all)
[buy the 32 years t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
Shit on the citySh*t On The city
Sh*t on the city,
Sh*t on the city tonight.
Sh*t on the city,
Sh*t on the city tonight,
 
 
 
 
If I Die on Kippax StreetIf I Die On The Kippax Street
(to the tune of 'Yankee Doodle')
If I die on the Kippax Street
Woah-oh, woah-oh
If I die on the Kippax Street
Woah-oh, woah-oh.
If I die on the Kippax Street
There will be ten blue b*stards at my feet,
Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
 
Use your head and use your feet,
Woah-oh, woah-oh
Use your head and use your feet,
Woah-oh, woah-oh.
Use your head and use your feet
There will be ten blue b*stards at my feet,
Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
 
If my bones do not mend,
Woah-oh, woah-oh
If my bones do not mend,
Woah-oh, woah-oh.
If my bones do not mend
Then carry me back to the Stretford End,
Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
 
When we go down to Maine Road,
Woah-oh, woah-oh
When we go down to Maine Road,
Woah-oh, woah-oh.
When we go down to Maine Road,
The city fans they s*it their load,
Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
[buy the If I Die on Kippax Street t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
If All You All Hate ScousersLet's All Laugh At city
Let's all laugh at city
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Let's all laugh at city
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
 
 
 
 
Scousers Rob Your CarUnited! United! Rah! Rah! Rah!
United! United! rah! rah! rah!
City! City! Hah! Hah! Hah!
Leeds! Leeds! Baa! Baa! Baa!
Norwich! Norwich! Far! Far! Far!
Scousers! Scousers! Rob your car!
 
 
 
 
Fuck Off cityF*ck Off city!
F*ck off city!
F*ck off city!
F*ck off city!
F*ck off city!
 
 
 
 
Fuck Off Back To StockportF*ck Off Stockport
F*ck off Stockport!
F*ck off Stockport!
F*ck off Stockport!
F*ck off Stockport!
 
 
 
 
City RejectCity Reject!
City reject!
City reject!
Hello!
Hello!
City reject!
City reject!
Hello!
sang at former Manchester city players
 
 
 
 
StockportsStockports, What's The Score?
Stockports!
What's the score?
Stockports! Stockports!
What's the score?
 
 
 
 
StockportsStockports, Give Us A Song!
Stockports!
Give us a song.
Stockports! Stockports!
Give us a song.
 
 
 
 
Fuck Off Back To StockportF*ck Off Back To Stockport
F*ck off back to Stockport!
F*ck off back to Stockport!
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la...
 
 
 
 
32 Years and Won Fuck AllCity Is Their Name
(to the tune of 'Camptown Races')
City is their name,
City is their name,
32 years and won f*ck all
City is their name
[buy the 32 years t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
Manchetser Is Red - The T-shirtNobody Knows Their Name
(to the tune of 'Rupert The Bear')
City!
Manchester City!
Nobody knows their name...
 
 
 
 
We Hate CityWe F*ckn Hate City
We f*ckin' hate city,
We f*ckin' hate city,
We f*ckin' hate...
We f*ckin' hate city!
 
 
 
 
We're the Pride Of ManchesterWe're The Pride Of Manchester
We're the pride,
We're the pride,
We're the pride of Manchester!
We're the pride of Man-chest-errr!
 
 
 
 
You're the sht of ManchesterYou're the Sh*t Of Manchester
You're the sh*t,
You're the sh*t,
You're the sh*t of Manchester!
You're the sh*t of Man-chest-errr!
 
 
 
 
Are You City In DisguiseAre You City In Disguise? 
Are you city?
Are you city?
Are you city in disguise?
Are you city in dis-guise?
Sang to poor opposition and even city themselves
 
 
 
 
32 Years and Won Fuck AllKick 'em All
Kick 'em all,
Kick 'em all,
Come on you reds kick 'em all.
If you see any blue shit
Then fucking well boot it,
Come on you reds kick 'em all.
[buy the Kick 'Em All t-shirt]
 
 
 
 
City's going down...City's Going Down With A Billion In The Bank 
(to tune of 'Yello Submarine')
City's going down with a billion in the bank,
A billion in the bank...
A billion in the bank.
City's going down with a billion in the bank,
A billion in the bank...
A billion in the bank.
 
They're going down, they're going down...
They're going dow-a-hown, they're going down...
They're going down, they're going down...
First sang when city fell into the relegation zone shortly after the takeover by the Arab billionaires in 2008-09
 
 
 
 
Inside The Council HouseInside The Council House 
(to the tune of 'You Are My Sunshine')
We won the football league again,
Inside the council house,
Inside the council house,
Inside the council house.
We won the football league again,
Inside the council house,
Inside... the... council... house...
Sang after United's 1-0 victory at Eastlands in 2006/07. Chelsea's draw with Arsenal the following day handed the title to United.
 
 
 
 
Cheer Up Kevin KeeganCheer Up Kevin Keegan
(to the tune of 'Daydream Believer')
Cheer up Kevin Keegan
Oh, what can it mean,
To a...
Sad Geordie b*stard, and a...
Sh*te football team.
Sang to the Manchester city manager between 2001 and 2005
 
 
 
 
City of Culture - Are You Having A Laugh?City's Going Up But They're Going Straight Back Down
(to the tune of 'Yellow Submarine')
City's going up but they're going straight back down,
Going straight back down,
Going straight back down.
City's going up but they're going straight back down,
Going straight back down,
Going straight back down.
 
They're going up! They're going down!
Going u-uh-up, going down
They're going up! They're going down...
Sang in 2002 when City won the First Division. The previous season they had been relegated from the Premiership after only just winning promotion the year before.
 
 
 
 
Can He Fix It?Can He Fix It?
(to the tune of 'Bob The Builder')
Kevin Keegan
Can he fix it?
Kevin Keegan
Can he f*ck!
Sang to the new Manchester city manager in 2001
 
 
 
 
City's Going DownCity's Going Down With A Russian On The Wing 
(to the tune of 'Yellow Submarine')
City's going down with a Russian on the wing
A Russian on the wing,
A Russian on the wing.
City's going down with a Russian on the wing
A Russian on the wing,
A Russian on the wing...
 
They're going down, they're going down...
They're going dow-a-hown, they're going down...
They're going down, they're going down...
Sang in 2001 after Andrei Kanchelskis joined city on loan from Rangers. The song had originally been distastefully sang a year before as 'City's Going Down Like A Russian Submarine' following the explosion on the K-141 Kursk nuclear submarine.
 
 
 
 
City Are A Massive ClubCity Are A Massive Club!
(to the tune of 'He's Got The Whole World In His Hands')
They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League,
They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League,
They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League...
Oh, city are a massive club!
 
Over 2,000 verses have since been added, not all were sang at the ground but those that were include (in no particular order):
They've got Curly Watts as a celebrity fan.
They've got the widest pitch, in the land.
They've got the tallest corner flags in the world.
They've got the greenest grass in the whole of the world.
They've got the biggest bananas in the land.
You can see Old Trafford from the Kippax Stand.
They had Ryan Giggs on schoolboy forms.
They had Colin Bell who was better than Best.
They bought Steve Daley for a million quid.
They tried to sign Geoff Thomas and he turned 'em down.
They won the Shamrock Trophy in '92.
They've got Bernard Manning as their fattest fan.
They used to be Little, but now they're Large.
They've got a dirty old slapper with a rusty bell (†1).
They've got salt and pepper on their hot dog stands.
They've got four different stands from a Meccano kit.
They've got exec boxes with a balcony.
They had a chairman and a manager that wore a wig.
They've got the Gallagher brothers in the Guvenors.
They invade their pitch when they win 3 points.
They do a lap of honour when they win the toss.
They sing racist chants cos they've got no class.
~ Added in 1997 ~
They've got 3 stars on their new club badge.
They've got a continental lazer blue Kappa kit.
They're going to turn Manchester into Milan.
They had the future England captain, but his cruciate went.(†2)
They've got 54 players but they're no f*cking good.
They've got a gypsy curse on their massive pitch.
~ Added in 1998 ~
They have a derby match with Macclesfield.
They go to Wrexham and Cardiff on Euro-aways.
They've got a farmyard animal and they play him up front. (†3)
~ Added in 1999 ~
Their best ever player plays for Ajax reserves. (†4)
They've got the best goalie the world has ever seen (†5)
~ Added in 2000 ~
They signed George Weah but he thought they played in red.
They signed Spencer Prior on deadline day.
They take 15,000 to every away.
They take 30,000 to every away.
They take 60,000 to every away.
They took quarter of a million to Ewood Park.
They've got three million fans in Manchester.
They empty Stockport when they play at home.
They're the only team to come from Manchester.
They have a civic reception when they've won f*ck all
They were the second-best team in Division Two.
They were the third-best team in Division Three.
They've had 17 managers in 20 years.
Sadly this song grew too 'massive' to be sang at matches and as a result barely gets heard nowadays. It's a shame as this is without doubt the best example of the wit and improvisation heard at Old Trafford before the Glazer takeover - each verse at one time or another probably being a serious claim to fame by city fans.
(†1)= Helen "the bell" Turner (who rang her bell at City for 30 years) / (†2)= Paul Lake
(†3) =Shaun Goater / (†4) =Georgie Kinkladze / (†5)=Nicky Weaver
 
 
 
 
HawaiHawai Five-0
(to the tune of 'Hawai Five-O')
Na, na, na, na, na, na,
Na, na, na, na, na,
Sang following United's 5-0 thrashing of City in 1994/95
 
 
 
 
5-05-0
One, two,
One, two, three,
One, two, three, four,
Five Nil!
Sang following United's 5-0 thrashing of City at Old Trafford in 1994/95. City fans had previously sang a similar tune for their 5-1 victory over United in 1989. Bizaarely they continued to sing their version even after United's 5-0 payback.
 
 
 
 
Two Nil Up And Fucked It Up2-0 Up and F*cked It Up
(to the tune of 'The Camptown Races')
Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City! City!
Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City is our name.
City is our name.
City is our name.
Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City is our name.
Sang after United came back from 2-0 down at Maine Road in 1993 to win 3-2
 
 
 
 
You Thought You'd Beat Us 3-1Blue Moon
Blue Moon,
You started singing too soon
You thought you'd beat us 3-1,
And now Howard Kendall has gone.
Sang following United's comeback from 3-1 down to draw 3-3 at Maine Road in Oct 1990. City manager Howard Kendall left for Everton a few days later.
 
 
 
 
Scousers Rob Your CarLee Bummed Bell 
(to the tune of 'Nick Nack Paddywack')
Lee bummed Bell,
Bell bummed Lee,
Lee and Bell bummed Summerbee,
With a nick nack paddywack, give a dog a bone,
Why don't city f*ck off home.
Sang in the 1970's about city players Franny Lee, Colin Bell & Mike Summerbee
 
 
 
 
The City Ran AwayHark Now Hear
(to the tune of 'Mary's Boy Child')
Hark now hear, United sing,
The city run away,
And we will fight for evermore,
Because of Derby Day!
 
 
 
 
Know anymore Manchester United songs aimed at Man city?
If you know of any other Manchester United songs and chants directed at the Bitter Blues, CLICK HERE to let us know.
Please note, as we receive so many awful new songs that will never take off with the fans, we will only publish songs already heard at the games.
We will not publish any songs that are tasteless or racist.
 
 
  
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